8. Walking with Core Members

2003

The individual relationships between volunteers and core members are one of the three pillars of COSA (together with the COSA functions including the COSA meetings and the Covenant). Spending individual time with the core member often results in greater group cohesion, thus making the COSA stronger. Additionally, the COSA acts as a model for healthy relationships and a healthy community to the core member. Therefore, effort must be made by the COSA to become a community with healthy interpersonal relationships that include the ability to appreciate differences, have disagreements and care for one another.

Individual relationships with the core member help to achieve some of the following goals:

  • give support / help with adjustments.
  • develop friendship.
  • develop rapport from which to address problems and concerns.
  • model healthy community.

A. Developing Relationships based on friendship

During the weeks the group is awaiting a core member they may take time for each to share their "life story".

The group may also want to tell their stories with the core member present, since they expect that his or her life will be an open book to the COSA. Therefore, each week a different person could take 20 minutes to share his / her journey. This also helps to build good group cohesion.

Friendships are based on trust, tolerance, non-judgment, dependability, forgiveness, friendliness, patience, honoring of one another, mutual growth, and many other qualities. Many of these are only realized with the passage of time and the experience of conflict and resolution. Above all, friendships should empower people rather than making them dependent.

B. Empowering versus Creating Dependency

The core member has special reintegration needs of which the COSA needs to be aware and prepared to assist with. These include helping to empower a core member rather than allowing him to become dependent on the COSA to have his needs met.

Usually a core member has experienced a long period of confinement. Freedom may be intimidating. There is usually a great need for encouragement and "handholding". The dynamic tension between empowering and creating dependency must continually be assessed and adjusted.

Many core members may be restricted in their movement as a result of a judicial restraint order. For example, they may not be allowed to be alone in a park or may not be allowed to be alone when in certain parts of the community. Some core members have difficulty with such orders and find them very invasive. They frequently appreciate the ability to get out for a walk with a COSA member.

When the police or court are developing the list of restrictions that form part of an order, the COSA may be able to suggest certain provisions that take these needs into account. For example, the COSA might suggest that the order make allowances for the core member to participate in activities if accompanied by a COSA volunteer (e.g. going to a park for a picnic or some social function). In some jurisdictions, police forces want the designated "accompaniers" to be registered with and approved by them.

In addition, COSA volunteers should help broker a core member's re-entry into social or religious groups, such as church, bridge club, bowling league, dart club etc. While it is healthy to be part of a group, there may be a need for the leaders or particular members of a group to be aware of the core member's presence, history and potential risk.

In all of the above, and indeed with all COSA activities, the core member should be encouraged to do as much as possible for himself and to rely less and less on the COSA. This does not mean that the COSA should be left out of the decision-making or problem solving "loop." One way of achieving healthy independence is to consult with one's friends and family around important issues. This is that a skill the COSA can help the core member develop. However, the COSA should be ready to celebrate the core member's his growing independence as a way of acknowledging his achievements.