Restorative Justice Week 2009

Restoring My Life
Barry Shainbaum

Bipolar is an illness that I wrestled with for 18 years. During my darkest days, 21 years ago, I became embroiled in the justice system.

In 1970, I suffered a nervous breakdown and spent the whole summer in a locked psychiatric ward. Four years later after a manic attack, I was diagnosed as manic depressive. I stayed on meds for many years until I read that long term taking of lithium carbonate can destroy the kidneys. I went off medication and was stable for 3 years.

Then, in 1986, I had a massive depression. Over the next year I lost my business, became suicidal and isolated. On a binge of pain, loss, anger and hopelessness, I destroyed property in my neighbourhood and was apprehended.

Ending up with my belongings in a storage locker and living in a psychiatric group home for 16 months was my next step along my journey. At my trial, I was given 90 days to be served as a weekend sentence at Mimico Correctional Institution. When it was over, I then began to rebuild my life from scratch.

I moved out of the boarding house and rented a small room down the street, sleeping on the floor in my sleeping bag. I called some clients from 3 years previous, notifying them I was back after an illness and that I still needed to invoice them for services rendered as a professional photographer. They were all supportive and paid me.

When an insurance company contacted me to recoup some of their costs because of property I destroyed during my trail of destruction, I made a decision to face up to my actions. I negotiated a payment plan making monthly cheques to them for years.

Fifteen years ago, I made application to the Government of Canada to receive a pardon. A pardon was granted wiping out all record of my pervious legal problems.

While still being a photographer, I now had an interest in public speaking in hopes of sharing my story with others and to support those going through mental/emotional challenges. I attended a formative meeting of the Mood Disorders Association of Ontario (MDAO). Eventually I became a board member and Vice-President. Later, I began speaking at Rotary Clubs and branches of the MDAO in Southern Ontario, and various mental health organizations across Canada

In 1998, I had a dream to create a book featuring people who have made a difference for good in their communities and for the planet. The book was inspired by my years of suffering and striving. Three years later, after photographing and interviewing 47 inspiring figures, Hope & Heroes arrived in bookstores in North America.

In 2005, I was offered the chance to create and host a 30 minute radio show in Kitchener, ON. It has now expanded to a 60 minute radio show on societal issues heard in Kitchener, London and Woodstock every Sunday. A major focus of the programming is mental health and life affirming issues.

In my professional speaking and through guests on my radio show, I strive to bring a message of hope, faith, forgiveness, and responsibility. Speaking in schools, prisons and mental health groups, to patients and their caregivers, I aim to inspire those listening to take an active role in their illness. Not just to take their medication, but to start and continue with psychotherapy; to watch their lifestyle with regards to diet and exercise; and to set appropriate goals and read good books.

I spoke recently at Warkworth Institution on Restorative Justice and shared my story. I made connections to the power of a human being to make positive choices, to persevere, and to take responsibility for their journey and decisions made along the way. In addition to speaking, I brought my guitar and sang songs. Opening up to creative pursuits brings strength and connection to one's soul. In addition, I gave a juggling lesson to the inmates. Learning how to juggle is to do the impossible. Through faith, belief and a huge dose of persistence, a person can learn to juggle. By the same traits, offenders can begin to rebuild their lives.

Please register for the National Symposium on Restorative Justice
to be held in St. John's, Newfoundland and Labrador, November 18th - 20th, 2009
Contact Noreen Byrne at (709) 631-0069, cms@nfld.net